getting my vision back

an exciting thing happened last month: i got my vision back. not my eyesight - that's fine (mostly), but my vision for ministry - the long-distance heartsight that can see the future and knows where we're going.

and i have to say, it feels really good.

i've been on staff at creekside for four and a half years. at first, it seemed like an easy kind of hard. i knew what needed to be done, we did it, and ministry was amazing. but over time, especially within the last couple of years, it just became a hard kind of hard - like slogging through jello (not that i've ever tried that). i still loved ministry, but i wasn't "in love with" ministry. ("it's not you, it's me.")

it took a while to put my finger on why i felt passionless for so long, and then last month, just a day into my trip to california, i realized it: i wasn't on fire for anything. nothing was burning inside me. and that realization haunted me all weekend long...

so i began to pray specifically for vision: God's direction for our ministry, our team, and my leadership. i asked God to confirm that i was still the right person for the job. and i asked Him to tell me what the heck i was supposed to be doing.

and He did. not long after i returned home, i woke very early on a thursday morning. all attempts to return to sleep were in vain, and my brain was moving at lightning speed. suddenly, i could see where we were going. i grabbed my iphone, laid in bed, and took notes. as i wrote it down, it became clearer and clearer, and before long, i had a complete picture of what our kids ministry team would be focusing on for the next year.

proverbs 29:18 says "where there is no vision, the people perish."

you could say i was perishing in that time when i had lost my passion. i had lost my vision. and i know that if i was passionless and perishing, those on my team - those that stuck by me, that kept slogging - they must've felt it and had their own drink of it too. i regret that - not discovering it earlier... or maybe God allowed for that, i don't know. but i do know, He won't waste the experience in how He builds our character - mine or anyone else on our team. and i do know, now He has given us vision again. i am ready and raring to go, and incredibly thankful for the team of people who are going with me!