A good day for a new baby...

I think today is a good day for a new baby. Don't you?

Okay, Kassidy. We're ready. Anytime now!

My darling sister-in-law told me via IM this morning that today might be the day. The doctors told her yesterday to stop taking the drugs that were supposed to stop her contractions, and today they're stronger, and she's leaking amniotic fluids. She called the hospital and they told her to just come in now.

So she's headed in and I'm at work, just waiting for the phone to ring. Matt has the day off today, being between jobs, so it really would be a great day for a baby! She would be early. Very early. But we knew that was likely, anyway... So, I wait, and I pray! Come on, Baby!

we're adults. when did that happen?

and how do i make it stop?

Do you watch Gray's Anatomy? My newest TV addiction (like I don't watch enough already). A handful of interns, fresh out of med school, learn the way of life in a hospital, as surgeons. It's set in Seattle, so automatically, I'm interested. But the cast is charming and lovable, and it's ever so slightly dramatic, with enough plot-twisting to keep things interesting. I love it.

In Sunday's episode, which I just got around to watching last night, Meredith Gray, the main character, says to the resident doctor...

We're adults. When did that happen? And how do I make it stop?

Amen, sista. I feel like this right now. In fact, I feel like this alot. I'm so nervous about Matt's pending transition into his new job... He doesn't really want to have to ride the bus - and I don't want him to have to - but we simply can not afford parking in downtown Seattle. Such is life, I guess. And health insurance, oh dear... health insurance. His boss has never had someone leave this location before, so she was unsure of all of the exit policies. What she found out from the company's HR manager about COBRA totally contradicts what I know about it, so I'm rather squeamish about the next three months. I don't want to have to pay for it, I don't want to have to fight to make things happen properly... I just want smooth transitions...

I'm trying so hard to have the faith to just give this up to God and trust that He'll take care of it... But it's hard.

What a weekend...

I love it when my weekends go slowly... When I can't believe it's just barely noon... Or even barely 3pm... That means I'm relaxed, and I'm getting things done, and I'm being efficient.

This weekend was not one of those weekends.

Saturday was nothing too exciting... I bought the interfacing and bias tape for the gorgeous little sundress I'm making for my niece, and then actually made quite a bit of progress on it (without crying, I might add).

Matt finished work and then his homework, and I wanted to take him out for a special treat because he's been working so hard, and we haven't really gotten to celebrate his new job, which he starts next Monday. I took him up to Mr. Bill's, this cute little 50's diner in our neck of the woods, which he'd never been to before. Fun restaurant, fun menu, it was nice to just relax and talk about nothing in particular.

Sunday was relaxing as well, but calm is not the right word. I didn't really accomplish anything on my to-do list, but I didn't really try that hard either. We got up early and went to church - and then came home, where I quickly changed back into my pyjamas and laid on the couch, creating my Ultimate Stampin' Up! Wishlist in anticipation of the list of retiring stamp sets, which will be published very soon...

Around 12:30, the phone rang, and it was my lovely sister-in-law, calling to tell us that she was on her way to the hospital. She'd been having pains all day, and wasn't convinced that they were contractions, but they were too frequent to ignore. Matt and I arranged to meet her at the hospital and take David home with us.

A half an hour later, I walked into Exam Room 1 at the University of Washington Medical Center, to see my nephew watching cartoons, and my sister strapped up to all sorts of monitors. But the detail I'll never forget was the sound. The sound of Kassidy's heart rate filled the room, and I didn't even notice the cartoons, or the sound of my husband and nephew talking. Just that fast little baby heart beat. And I thought I would cry! I've never heard a baby's hearbeat before - not being in the same room with it. It was mesmerizing. It was then I realized just how much I loved this baby! Sure, she isn't mine. And sure, she isn't even born yet. But I am so very attached to her... I can't even imagine how Nikki feels. Nor can I imagine how I will feel when I hear the heartbeat of my own child for the very first time...

I didn't want to leave Nikki. We weren't sure if they would decide to induce or not, but I didn't want her to be without company, and I thought maybe time would go faster if we were together. So Matt took David home, and left me with Nikki, and all of her stuff, just in case. We waited for nearly two hours, while tests were being done, and stats were being monitored. It was finally decided that while the pains she felt corresponded to uterine activity, drugs that stop contractions weren't helping, so perhaps they were related to something else. We were sent home - thankful to be headed to a more comfortable place.

We hung out at our house for a while, the boys playing video games, Nikki & I scrapbooking, chattering, and watching television. It was a calm, relaxed evening, just the way we like it.

How excited I am for that baby to come... I had a dream about her last night, although, she was not named "Kassidy"... But she was adorable, and I got to take care of her... But I was a terrible aunt... I forgot to change her, and feed her... But she was a happy baby.

Friday night relaxation...

Matt is mowing the lawn for the first time this Spring. I opened windows in the house, to let in the wonderfully clean, cool air, and the scent of fresh cut grass fills my studio. Ahhh.

The lawn mower mindlessly drones on in the background, lulling me into relaxation. This is just what I needed.

I came home, tired of looking at the well-past-wilting roses in my dining room. Tossing them in the garbage, I trotted out to my little tiny, neglected garden, knife in hand, seeking Forget Me Nots.

A bouquet of tiny blue petals now replaces the tired old rose stems, introducing Spring into my home, and bringing with it, a little extra cheer.

one of those days...

My parents are on the beautiful island of Kauai this week... and next... and I am not. Not that I would expect them to take me, but still, I can't help but feel a little jealous.

I was in a foul mood yesterday, and left the office, ready to blow off steam. As I pulled out of our garage, the sun shining, the sky blue, I couldn't help but think of what a lovely time I had when my parents took me to Kauai with them nearly three years ago.

Pulling onto the street, I decided it was one of those days. A DMB day. With one hand on the steering wheel, I groped with my free hand to locate Crash, my favorite DMB album, and shoved it into my CD player.

I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside.

The warm sun poured through the car windows, too bright, but I didn't mind. It felt like Kauai, minus the palm trees swaying in the breeze along side the road, plus a few more layers of clothing than I'd care to wear in such a climate.

I find sometimes it's easy to be myself

I opened my window, a few inches, to let the fresh air in, and I was transported back to my trip to Kauai...

Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else.

Just a year into college, my best friend and I were there as a part of my high school graduation gift, with my parents. They rented a 2002 black Ford Explorer. I loved driving the massive vehicle, so different from my little compact Ford Probe. And wearing, usually, nothing more than a tank top, sarong and sandles, we would leave the condo late in the evening, in search of adventure. The sun would set around 8pm, and most of the town closed down. But the drive was beautiful. We would hop in the car, bringing along Dave (DMB, but we just call him Dave), and usually a few BNL albums. We'd roll down the windows, and let the clean, ocean air fill our lungs, crank up the stereo and sing the lyrics as loud as we could. It was never cold. It was August, and it was Hawaii. It was warm, and muggy, and the fresh air pouring through our windows at 30 or 40 miles per hour felt cool. Over and over, we'd listen to this CD, sometimes letting Dave take 5, and adding another album into the mix. If one of us saw something, there was no need to turn the music down, we'd just point, and if something needed to be said, it was yelled over the music. There's only one major highway on Kauai, and it tracks 3/4 of the circumfrence of the island. Getting lost would be hard, so we just drove... Most of the territory, we'd recognize, and we'd only turn back when we thought we were getting a little too far from home.

'Cause here we have been standing for a long, long time.

This CD, the whole thing, brings back these memories. And while all of the memories are happy, part of me can't help but be sad... I'll never be that young again, I'll never have that youthfulness... Sure, I can still drive my car, with the windows down, and Dave threatening to blow out my back speakers, but I really only do that on a bad day. I don't want to associate these memories to bad days. I guess that's why I record them here... Write them down while they're still just great memories.

So much to say, so much to say.

a thing created is loved before it exists...

"The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists."
—Charles Dickens

Create for the Sake of Creating

I've stumbled across a few articles today that discussed creating for the sake of creating... Funny, because lately I've felt a little lacking in direction. Hall Of Fame is done; I didn't have time to do PaperKuts Power Team; Making Memories Masters won't start until July/August. I'm even caught up with the current calls! I'm out of things to submit, and I'm no longer consumed by deadlines for which to strive.

Now, it's just me and my untidy room. Somewhere, there are boxes and boxes of highschool memories waiting to be put into a scrapbook. My husband's baby pictures sit patiently in my closet, also waiting for some attention. And being so very Type-A, I have a To-Do List, don't get me wrong! But I don't feel inspired to work towards anything on that List...

I suppose I must learn to create for the sake of creating, to not let my List rule my craft. I have taken steps towards laying aside some of my more irritating Type-A qualities. I have learned to embrace the creative mess that is my workspace. I have, more than once, re-ordered the items on the List, to better suit my mood and daily whims. I have shunned the need to scrapbook in chronological order.

And yet, why do I feel so aimless, as if I need my List to guide my work? Why is it that only crossing off items on my List actually gives me a sense of accomplishment?

All that hard work paid off!

Late last week, I discovered a call on ScrapSubmit for Scrapfriends.us, looking for a new team of reviewers to ease the workload of the senior team. Realizing that I only had a few days, I put my nose to the grindstone and worked all day Saturday and most of Sunday, preparing 6 projects, and two product reviews, as well as answering several questions about myself for the application. The process was hard work, but it was enjoyable.

With a sigh of relief, Sunday night, I submitted my work. The deadline was Monday, but I wouldn't know the outcome until Wednesday. Monday, I started checking my email with expectation, hoping that we'd hear early results. Tuesday, I grew more anxious as the day went on, hoping for an email, a voicemail, anything... No word. Wednesday, it was all-out insanity. I was impatient, anxious, worried, nothing short of obsessive. Finally, giving up hope, I calmed down. I was checking my email and voicemail less. Late in the afternoon, I looked in on my email just to see what was new, and there it was... one beautiful, glowing email from the leader of the pack, asking me to join, as the alternate. I was so excited, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach, my eyes lost the ability to focus and my brain couldn't quite comprehend what I was reading. After moments of this "scrapbooking ecstasy", I regained composure, and gleefully accepted the offer to "audition" with the team in May.

I'm so excited! My first big break! :)

"God bless you"

What sweet, simple words... Today, on the phone with a customer, he panicked because his site had been shut off and asked me if he'd lose any of his data... I reassured him that it was only a billing issue and that his data would be completely restored. His response "Oh, God bless you". Not "Bless you", not "Bless your heart", no cute rendition of that phrase, but the full sweetness of "God bless you".

I don't know if he really meant it, or even if he understood the weight of his words and the effect they would have on me, and even used in such casual conversation, with a stranger no less, these words had a profound impact on me. I often wonder if God can use the things we say to other people, even if we don't realize what we're saying, to affect them for the better.

I wish I said this more, and really meant it. I wish that I could meaningfully say "God bless you" in casual conversation. Maybe I'll try this today. I wonder what the reaction will be?

More Weekend Adventures

On the last whirlwind re-organization spree of my scrapbooking studio, I finally managed to find a permanent home (other than my dining room table!) for my sewing machine, which promises that it will get used more often. It's a bit akward to sit at, but I rarely sew for more than a few minutes, so I can handle it.

Anyway, I've dusted off my late-1970's model Sears Kenmore machine, and am suddenly inspired to recreate every sewn project I encounter...



First, I attempted to turn a pair of jeans into a denim skirt, patching the inevitable triangle in the back and front of the skirt with this gorgeous purplish-lavender calico pattern that nearly resembled a paisley print. Halfway through, I realized I'd need to top-stitch it and that, if I do so, my pins are on the wrong side of the fabric.

Growing weary of this venture, I set it aside and fondled the beautiful purple calico, thinking of my unborn neice and her lavender themed nursery. How cute she'd be in this purple print... Digging through my collection of patterns, I stumbled across a simple Burda pattern for an adorable baby sundress. The pattern looked easy enough, and it only required about 1/4 of my remaining fabric, so I got started... Not far into cooking up my second unfinished project, I realized I was missing key ingredients: interfacing, bias tape, and straight pins... (I'm not that dumb, my extras have just gone missing...)

So, just a few days ago, my beautiful, but tight, studio was neatly organized and it looked almost as if I always kept it that way.





Today, that's an obvious lie that I just want you to keep believing! I'll be darned, however, if I'm going to let these new creations get balled up and tossed into the Bucket of Unfinished Projects. Now... I just need to find the time (and the money) to finish them off! ;)

T.G.I.F.

I'm so glad it's Friday! Ahead of me, I have a weekend of scrapbooking, and maybe some cooking. Although, my house is feeling a little stale, so if I could find some time for some spring cleaning and expel those dust bunnies that are lurking under my furniture, we'd all benefit in the long run.

Matt goes down to meet with the "big cheese" (I'm not kidding, that's what they call him) at Beecher's this afternoon, for a final interview. We're pretty sure he has the job already, and that this is just a courtesy to the "big cheese" (I think his name is Brad, but I'm having so much fun with the fact that they call him the "big cheese" that I'm going to continue to refer to him as such.) Then, we're faced with all the nitty gritty details of a job change: giving notice, getting COBRA set up, adjusting to new hours, figuring out how to fit in homework and the second job around the new hours, and even deciding whether or not to keep the second job.

I'm expecting something of an emotional rollercoaster in the weeks to come, so I'm just bracing myself.

Yippeeee!

I've been published! My first publication ever! An online magazine, My Life In A Scrapbook picked up one of my FAVORITE layouts (a part of my Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame entry) and will be publishing it in their May issue, available 5/1/05. I'm so very excited, I can't hardly stand myself!

While we're on the subject of great news, Matt has decided to take the cheese-making job at Beecher's! I'm so excited... We'll be sacrificing a bit at first: he'll have to work some weekends, and some very odd hours, there's no paid leave, and we'll have to reign in our spending habits in order to pay for COBRA until his benefits kick in after 90 days; but it'll be a better move in the long run. He can move up, they'll pay him more as he gains experience, and because it's an apprenticeship in "artisan" food-making, it easily translates to winemaking and other food/artisan crafts.

Weekend Adventures

Matt and I spent this weekend visiting my dad & stepmom in beautiful Seabeck, Washington. On one of my dad's recent adventures, he picked up an old moped, just powerful enough to do all of 30 MPH. This was Matt's first experience on a two-wheeled vehicle that wasn't powered by one's own feet.... And he's quite the natural!



Okay, so the bike looks a little small for him, but he's a tall guy, and that's a short bike! I took a few spins on it as well, but was a touch more cautious than my daredevil husband, who had the nerve to come into the house spattered in mud after wiping out in a not-so-grassy patch of the expansive yard, despite my repeated warnings to, for heaven's sake, be careful!!

The weekend was low-key, the way we like it when we leave the city. We visited a few swap meets, looking for eBay items, had dinner with my grandmother and cousin, and went to church Sunday morning.

Returning home late Sunday afternoon, I retreated to my craft studio to scrapbook. I made a little progress on a page about my name, which includes photos of my current obsession with monograms (my favorite coffee cup is brown, with a pink "k" on it; my purse is tan... with a pink "k" on it... and my keychain is even a "k"... see the trend?).

My studio is pretty much organized, although last night, my wall-mounted magazine shelf, which held probably close to 70 lbs worth of books and magazine, finally gave out. Now, my magazine holders are lined up in a cute little row on the ground (that will need to change.) and the shelf sits bare and alone... I have no idea what to do... Find lighter contents for the shelf, and a sturdier home for my reading material, I suppose...

Last night, I tore apart my sewing machine, to give it a little attitude adjustment, couldn't find any explanation for it's misbehavior, and promptly put it back together again. Go figure, it worked like a charm, and behaved itself all night.

My project last night was to create a new back and seat for a director's chair I bought for $5 at a rummage sale a few weeks ago. I loved the color it was originally, the framework being white, and the canvas being that beautiful sagey, celadon green color, but it was faded and a little grungy, and it didn't match my increasingly pink & peach studio. So I found some off-white canvas, and stitched up replacement pieces for the chair... Never one to keep things simple, I pulled out my new favorite stamp set, Paint Prints and my Making Memories foam alphabet (Philadelphia, I think) and decorated it using acrylic paints that match the accent wall in my studio. The result:



While I try to smother my anxiousness to get home today and return to my lovely craft room, I can't help but be excited about the projects I'm working on. I'm in the middle of scrapbooking our Easter page, which is turning out nicely. I've got some other freshly-completed pages that need to be scanned and uploaded to various places, but my scanner software isn't playing nicely. Today, I re-vamped my "To Do" list, which is an ongoing list of all of the projects, pages and things I want to do... The detailed portion of the list extends through the month, but the latter half of the list is a vague plan of the projects and albums I want to create, and when I want to create them. I love thinking about, and planning for, all of my upcoming projects...

Several weeks ago, Matt went down to a local handmade cheese shop, called Beecher's, and interviewed with the manager there, who is the roommate of a friend of mine from work. The job sounds amazing - challenging, physically and creatively, and I think it would be a great experience for Matt. He loves cheese, so naturally, it sounds good to him. Yesterday, Amir (the manager) called to "chat with" Matt about a position... I'm very excited, it would mean a raise, a $10 daily lunch stipend, and the same benefits he already enjoys working at the gym (well, except for the gym membership... but who needs a gym membership when you can eat cheese!). We do have a few concerns though, mostly that the benefits don't kick in until after 90 days - and Matt simply can't go without medical insurance for that period of time. We're investigating our options, COBRA, etc, but mostly, just praying that we'll feel led in the right direction. We hope to have a decision by tomorrow.

April Showers...

I'm glad it's thursday: that much closer to Friday.

This week has been unbelievably busy at work: last week, my boss took a bad fall at home and broke her leg - really did a number on herself: snapping both her fibia and tibia, and shattering something (my medical terminology fails me) else as well. Landed herself right in the hospital for 5 hours of surgery, at the end of which, she was too swollen to be stitched up completely. They were finally able to finish stitching yesterday, so she'll be released this afternoon. Unfortunately, this meant that I was on my own for three days this week at work, as the sole member of the technical support team working the day shift. This makes for a long day - and a longer week. Denise is wheelchair-bound for several days and won't be able to drive for 6 weeks. We have no idea when she'll be back at work, but I pray it's soon. I miss my buddy and my relief!

I really need to scrapbook tonight. My Ofoto order came in yesterday - yippee! - so I have bunches of photos to scrapbook. This round includes our trip to Victoria as well as Easter pictures, and some miscellaneous shots I took to create a page about my name.

I've been organizing my studio for weeks... Each week, as the weekend nears, I threaten to finish organizing - and I never do! I do, however, make a little progress each week, which feels good... And, hey! I've been able to see my floor for about 8 weeks straight. This is a huge achievement for me. My mother would be proud.

Last night, Matt and I went to the Mariner's game, buying some last-minute tickets off of a colleague of mine. Fantastic seats: section 128, right behind home plate, row 25... It was a sad, sad game, and I fear that as the second sad, sad game in a row, it's a precursor to a sad, sad season. (I'm so pessimistic!) Otherwise, it was fun. I bought a pink fisherman-style Mariner's hat. (When did I become such a girly-girl??)

It's raining outside. I used to not mind so much, but now that we've moved to this new office building and parking is so expensive, I've begun riding the bus to work. The trip here is not bad, and the busses run every 6 minutes, so there's no "Transportation Anxiety," as my mother calls it. Matt picks me up from work on most days, but today is unsure. With him going back to school, his free time is at a minimum - but I'm so proud of him, so I'll gladly ride the bus home in the afternoon if it means supporting his educational pursuits... But in the rain? Hmmm. Well... Okay, I guess...

Lunch time is here, so I guess I'll go find myself some grub.

Getting on the Blog Train

I've always liked the idea of keeping a journal. It's not unlike confiding in a dear friend. I've tried many times, and I've never really been successful at creating this new habit for myself, and yet, here I am to try again. I love to write, but I simply don't have the confidence that my life is interesting enough for others to read about... I don't know if it's even interesting enough for ME to read about! ;)

I want this blog to be an opportunity to document the every day details that don't make it into my scrapbook. I want this blog to be a personal archive of moments, an opportunity to post about what I'm working on now, and to track all of the other semi-coherent ramblings of a caffeine-induced craft addict... I hope you enjoy my stories.