January in Review

• I turned 30! (Today one of the kids asked if I was in triple digits yet.) We laugh now, but the day of was actually a bit traumatic. I was excited and eager to celebrate, and Boy came home from school exhausted and asked to go to bed early. So Matt and I ended up eating Dairy Queen for dinner in front of the TV. Not really what I'd anticipated...
• We've been working all month (the last of many months) in preparation for the Creekside Relaunch happening on Sunday, 2/3. New logo, new branding, new opportunities to serve our community. It's gonna be big!
• I had an awesome cold that lasted almost 3 weeks and finally required antibiotics... I can't say I'm 100% yet.
• We had some team leadership changes in our Kids Ministry that has meant spending extra time with some new leaders. I love seeing people put their gifts to work!
• Threw a non-shower shower for a friend having a baby next week. So excited to meet this little one! If her older siblings are any indication, she's gonna be gorgeous.
• Started the first of this year's garden additions in reused milk jugs to act as cold-frames. Hope this works!
• Met Boy's teachers and was thrilled by the glowing report they gave. They love him, told me all about how well he's doing, and helped me learn about some ways we can help him at home. I'm glad he's surrounded by such a positive team.
• The Thaete Household is adjusting well. We're all figuring each other out, adjusting to routines, and getting comfortable with boundaries.

It doesn't seem busy, but it's been busy. :)

Noodle Battle

Early on in Boy's time with us, I shared about some of our meal-time challenges. I remember asking his last foster mom for a more comprehensive list of favorites, and telling her that I wasn't planning on cooking different meals just for him, so I might as well start with things he liked... Her reply confessed that she pretty much cooked separately for him at each meal because he was so particular.

That was not going to happen in our house. This is not Burger King, you can't have it your way.

So we've been introducing our usual meal choices, along with a hefty plate of his favorite fresh veggies so that if he doesn't like dinner, he doesn't have to go hungry. We don't make a big deal about what he eats, which has helped minimize the button-pushing and boundary-testing, but we did notice a peculiar dislike for all variety of noodle. And it was maddening.

One evening, Matt - who is demonstrating exceptional parenting prowess at every turn -capitalized on a conversational moment with Boy to ask about his aversion to noodles. Hs response was something like:

"Well, if you wish really hard on a star, noodles can become snakes."

I suppose if I believed that, I'd avoid them too.

Matt handled it beautifully of course, and informed Boy that a) it doesn't work that way and b) noodles are made out of the same ingredients as lots of other things he loves. Like hamburger buns.

And because I'm kind of a brat, I only-sort-of intentionally planned a week's worth of meals involving mostly noodle/pasta dishes.

Sautéed chicken with buttered noodles. Boy ignored noodles.
Lasagna. Boy ate it. Didn't notice the noodles.
Tuna casserole. Boy ate that too, seemingly unaware of the noodles?

While I cooked yet another noodle dish, Matt broke the news to Boy that all of these things he seemed to like we're made with noodles even though the noodles looked and tasted different in each. Boy's jaw dropped. We stifled laughter.

Beef stroganoff, over noodles. Boy ate around the noodles, and we insisted on about 4 bites of actual noodle. He discovered that if you put stuff ON the noodle, it's actually not bad.

And tonight, I felt rather victorious as he ate most of the noodles in our Spicy Peanut Noodles, which he helped make. No fuss. No puking. Did I mention he "doesn't like" peanut butter?

So, I think that's 2 points for us, no? Too early in the game to call the winner of the Noodle Battle?

Milestone

Today, friends, we reached a milestone.

Today was the first day that I was not counting the minutes until bedtime.

You see, since boy came into our life three weeks ago, he has been expecting constant entertainment, and failure to meet his expectations was met with a battery of "I'm bored" and "What should we do now? What should we do after ...? What should we do after that?" (Yes, one after the other, just like that.

Over and over, I've answered the "I'm bored" with all sorts of things I'm sure my mother said to me:
"Do you need me to give you something to do?" (More of a threat than a legitimate question, as I rifled through a mental list of feasible chores. This was definitely my mother.)
"It's not my job to entertain you."
"Boredom is a choice, a lack of imagination."
And the most profound: "Congratulations."

But today... Ah, today was different. Today he occupied himself, finally learning that the only choices I ever give him when I'm busy are to play with toys in his room or to play with toys in his bedroom. Today, he didn't pester me with the plans for the day because he knew I'd only say what I always say: "I don't want to plan out every minute of my day" (Sidenote: This is totally false. More accurately, I don't want to share my plans. But he doesn't need to know that.) Today was a happy mix of time with Kate, time with Matt, time alone, time together as a family.

And that meant that when dinner was over and bedtime rolled around, we were still enjoying each other's company. No behavior problems. No irritations. No scoldings. Today was the first totally pleasant, enjoyable day we've had together. Milestone.

Ten Hundred Stars

Boy gets stars at school to mark his behavior - a star in the afternoon, a star at night. Until now, stars have been required for any screen time, and since that's his main motivator, it's helped him control the impulses that tell him to poke his neighbor and lose a star.

But things are changing around here as we learn about him and what he needs, we're minimizing screen time - like none at all during the week. Yesterday he got two stars and when he put two and two together that he wouldn't get to play video games even though he got his stars, you could see the gears turning. We're teaching him that being good at school is his responsibility ("his job") and we don't always get an immediate reward for doing our job.

So this morning, still wondering what would replace his video games as his reward, he peppered me with questions while we waited for the bus. I just tried to keep up.

A: "Kate, what happens when I get two stars?"
K: "I will give you a big hug and a big high five."
A: "Well, what happens when I get 200 stars?"
K: "I think we'll go out for ice cream."
A: "What if I get '10 hundred' stars?"
K: [doing mental math, 180 days in a school year, 2 stars a day, 360 maximum, ok I'm safe] "Buddy, if you get 1000 stars, we will go to Antarctica to visit the penguins." [Sure hope his teacher doesn't get any crazy ideas about calling my bluff...]
A: "What if I get 2 million thousand stars?"
K: "I'll let you be the parent, and I'll be the kid."
A: "What if I get 199 stars?"

Seriously, this went on for about 10 minutes until I finally told him my brain hurt. However, I think I've promised myself to: ice cream, a happy dance, Matt's happy dance, the dog and cat each happy-dancing, 12 high fives, and there may have been some talk about a trip to the moon.

December in Review

What a month! I love December - Christmas is my favorite time of year, and this December was special indeed.

• We returned in one piece from our Disneyland trip (but just barely!)
• I performed my first memorial service. Sad, but I was honored to do it.
• There was some snow. Not as much as we'd like.
• And so we bought new tires. That was expensive, but at least my car is ready for real snow.
• Boy came to us - it's like living with a whirlwind, a funny, affectionate, sweet little whirlwind.
• We saw the christmas light display at Bellevue Botanical Gardens, and drove through our usual neighborhoods. One of my favorite traditions!
• We decorated our own house for Christmas, of course.
• Memphis loves having a Boy of his own to play with. He's never far from the action.
• Matt and Boy discovered a love for trains on Christmas Eve when my stepdad busted out his old train set to go around the tree.
• Matt had another eye flare-up which landed us in the ER on Christmas morning.
• Boy & I saw "Wreck It Ralph" with some friends - seriously fun movie.

And now that it's January, a new life with new patterns shall begin.