May in review

here's a bit for me to remember may:

• spent the saturday before mother's day hanging out with my mom. checked out the etsy-rain craft fair - i'll definitely do that again!
  
• went on the leadership journey 2011 trip to california.
  
• disneyland!!
  
• got my "vision" back. more on that later.
  
• what i read: courageous leadership
  
• finished & submitted my application for ordination!
  
• began planning our kids ministry team dinner, happening june 9.
  
• spent part of memorial day weekend at the lakehouse w/ the fam.
  
• relaunched our community group for summer quarter - trying something new: dinner! it's fun to contribute a part of it and not have to think about cooking dinner for ourselves that night! way less work than i expected, actually.
  
• started getting our back yard into "haven"-shape. two garden beds are being built, the hammock is soon to be set up, bbq is out and ready for love, and we dusted off our fire-pit for the first time this season!

Leadership Journey - Day 5 - Disney

Disneyland! I was excited for the whole trip, to be sure, but as I haven't been to Disneyland in 12 years or so, this was indeed the highlight for me. Mom flew in yesterday so we could do Disneyland together (Matt couldn't get the time off work).

We were determined to be there when it opened. Disneyland was first, and I teared up as I walked in (and again later in the day after seeing Mary Poppins and Burt perform in the town square).

We started with Space Mountain - one of the best rides of the day. Mom's goal was to sit in the front in every ride, which we did for most. The front seat on Space Mountain was incredible - and my glasses made great windshields, so I was able to keep my eyes open the whole time. If I hadn't been on a mission, I'd have gotten right back in line to do it again.

We headed over to Indiana Jones, having gotten a fast-pass earlier (amazing technology, that), and got all the way down to the loading deck when we suddenly smelled burning plastic. The ride was shut down, and we were all given fast-passes for later in the day.

Pirates of the Caribbean was great. I haven't seen the movies, but I love how they've updated it over the years (and the Jack Sparrow robot is hauntingly life-like). Now the movies are on my must-see list.

Haunted Mansion wasn't as awesome as I remember (not as "haunting" either). It seems to be more of a show than a thriller. Cool displays though. I do love detail.

Thunder Mountain was as thrilling as I remembered - but so short! I got adventurous and held up the camera over my head, on auto, and snapped away through the ride. Haven't looked at those yet - I hope there are a few good ones.

I didn't feel the need to ride Matterhorn, but we had done everything else on our list, and it was there. Not as rickety as last time I rode it (thank goodness), and still fun.

My goal for the day was to walk through every "land" and just observe. This was hard, because we were on a mission to do both Disneyland and California Adventure, and squeeze in a walk through Downtown Disney as well. We did spend some time just looking in Toon Town, which I feel is the easiest environment to apply to kids. It just screams fun. I loved the interactive decor - jail bars made of rubber hose so the kids could break out, barbells with the same hose, so they could "lift" them with the bending bar. Things that spin, things with bubbles. I have ideas for interactive bits on the walls of our hallways.

After we were satisfied with Disneyland, we headed over to California Adventure. I hadn't been there before, so I was excited to see what the fuss was about.

Our first stop was Grizzly River Run. We got our fast pass, bought ponchos ($8.50 poncho: surprisingly ineffective), and thoroughly enjoyed the very wet ride.

Next was Soarin' - I thought I was going to have a panic attack when our row of seats lifted off the ground and all I had keeping me in was a seatbelt. The video was a amazing, and true to Disney's form, they pipe in scents to make the experience very real - orange over the orange groves, cedar over the redwoods, pine over the ski slopes, I even sensed a hint of saltwater over the ocean, though that could have been my very vivid imagination (the same vivid imagination that convinced me that one wrong move, and I would be smashed upon the rocky shore).

We checked out Monsters, Inc, because it's easily one of my favorite movies. It was largely unexciting, but the characters were so cute and well done.

Bug's Land was definitely the best in terms of environment and gave me great ideas (wishing I could create a "giant" world around our kids space - using things like giant q-tips, towering drinking straws, and enormous kleenex boxes). We even dropped by to see the 3-D show which was surprisingly cute.

Just before dinner, we headed out to Downtown Disney, an open air mall in the "resort", to do our gift shopping. I didn't find anything I was truly happy with for myself, but settled on a cute paint-splotch scarf (the splotches are mickey-heads, of course), a minnie mouse pen (for my growing collection of ridiculous pens), and I had gotten an engraved leather bracelet earlier in the day. At World of Disney, the biggest Disney store I've ever seen in my entire life, I also found a "Grumpy" cup for Matt, a Mickey cup for the teacher that filled in for me while I was gone, a gun that blows bubbles (for visiting my preschoolers), and a container of Buzz Lightyear's little green men (to hand out at kids church), and four unicorn lollipops (to use as star prizes on Sunday). I'm actually rethinking those star prizes because they're giant compared to the candy I'm normally willing to hand out... Eek, sorry parents!

Shelly had friends in the area who made us a dinner reservation at the Big Thunder BBQ place. Amazing food - family style ribs with every BBQ side dish you could think of. The setting was right out of "Oklahoma!" (so now I want to watch that again), and tickled the bit of country girl in me.

We took our time relocating between dinner and the Wonder of Color show - but by the time we got back to Cali. Adventure, my feet were hurting so bad I didn't even want to work to get to a good viewing spot. We camped out on a bench, shared coffee and a cinnamon roll, and listened to the music - catching bits and pieces of the fountains and lights (and fire!) that towered above the crowd.

My one regret (well, besides the shoes), is that we could've skipped Downtown Disney and done our shopping in the parks. It would've saved us time, and I would've found the one thing I really wish I'd bought for myself: I hear rumor of a "build your own Mr. Potato Head" (and I wonder if it's called a "Potato Bar"?). For about $20, you can get a Mr. Potato Head and the accessories you choose. How fun would that be in my office? Note to self - for next time!

By the time the show ended, I was eagerly anticipating bed - it took a while to hook up with our van, but boy was I glad to see an end to the walking. My critical mistake for the day was sacrificing good sense at the altar of cuteness: I wore the wrong shoes. I picked out shoes a few weeks ago that were comfortable, decent for walking, and fairy adorable. But they were not made for 14 hours on your feet. I have no less than five magical blisters. Note to self: next time, tennis shoes, no matter how not-cute they are.


For a whirlwind trip, I'm pretty satisfied with our Disney day. Can't believe how much we did and saw, and I'm already planning my return trip - this time, with Matt, and for much longer...

Leadership Journey - Day 4 - Services at Rock Harbor, Mariner and Newport

Today was slated to be our busiest day, so we were up and out the door early. Our first stop was Rock Harbor. I instantly felt a connection to environment (both aesthetics and the energy) that I did not feel at Saddleback. While I didn't get to check our their kids space, I did enjoy the worship service - excellent, loud music, a thought-provoking guest speaker, and best of all, no responsibility, except to listen to the Spirit.

I had a few conversations with regular attenders. Thinking about the question I'd asked at Saddleback yesterday, I posed a similar question to the gal behind the Info Desk - "What is it that draws you to Rock Harbor?" She told me that she sensed the Spirit of God at this church unlike any other. This got me pondering a different post for a different day - is sensing God's spirit in a church necessary for those in the church? Is it possible that two spirit-led believers could be in the same church, and one could sense the spirit, while the other does not?

After Rock Harbor, we hauled over to Mariners Church in Newport. The environment was akin to Saddleback - large church, and it felt like it. Their children's ministry building has been designed with the "mariner" theme in mind. We spent the morning wandering through the kids building (that we were allowed to do so surprised me), and observing various parts of their program. Again, I was encouraged: we're not missing anything huge or doing anything wrong. Their program is similar to ours. Major differences seemed limited to the size of the building and the number of children - both of which are appropriate for the scale at which they do ministry.

We stopped at Fashion Island, a mall in Newport Beach, for lunch, where it seems women push their dogs in strollers and walk their children on leashes. Found the world's cutest pet store - "muttropolis" - and bought a treat for Memphis.

We had a bit at the hotel to relax before heading off to Newport Church, a Hillsong churchplant at a local high school. Quite a few things made me furrow my brow, but knowing that I was exhausted, I won't go into detail (my attitude is often affected by my exhaustion level) and there wasn't much in terms of children's ministry so we didn't bother touring.

After the last church service, we picked up my mom at the hotel, who has flown in to spend tomorrow with us, then headed to dinner. She fit right in, and the group was so kind to include her. After dinner, we had one more late night swim (during which the security guard came in and told us to keep it down - pointing at me specifically, for laughing too loudly), and I was all too glad to go to bed by the time 12:30 rolled around.

Leadership Journey - Day 3 - Service at Saddleback

Had a great opportunity to take in a service at Saddleback tonight, and see how it all works. We attended the 4:30pm, then a few of us took the opportunity to observe the kids ministry in action.

While waiting for the kids' service to begin, I chatted with a couple who had come to see their 6th grade daughter lead worship for the 5th-6th grade class. I asked them what she liked about Saddleback and they said she loves that she "knows everyone". "Even in one of the biggest churches in America?" and her mother (wisely responded) "Oh, we've always believed that the more involved you get, the smaller the church becomes [feels]."

I also noted that there had been a few mentions of staffing issues - last minute reports of sick volunteers, and breathed a sigh of relief: oh, so this is common. Wheew.

The other observation I carried away was that I had expected to be so wowed by their programming for kids, that I would be overwhelmed and feel like we were missing the mark. Instead, I didn't feel like we were doing anything wrong or missing anything, in terms of our programming itself. Compared to what we're doing, they have a similar format and their people and implementations have similar flaws. Really, their excellence comes from the way they develop and release leaders.

After observing a bit of the second service, we left for the nearby mall for dinner, then splintered off to do various activities for the night. I'd intended a swim and soak in the hot tub, plus an early bedtime, but ended up staying up later to do a load of laundry on a whim...

Leadership Journey - Day 3 - Processing...

It seems that the later I stay up at night, the earlier I wake up the next morning. Unfair? Oh, and housekeeping didn't leave any sugar with the coffee supplies, so what is a girl to do??

I laid in bed awake for a bit this morning, thinking more about the passion situation, but my mind seemed to jump around, finally landing on a conversation I had with the girls yesterday afternoon about ultrasound technology (it was germane, I promise). I considered how amazing this technique is: a small tool, sends out sound-waves, listens for their return, then interprets the pattern in which they return in order to develop an overall picture. Ultrasounds are used in so many ways these days - to show mom and dad the first picture of their unborn baby, to help doctors identify and diagnose organ problems.

It didn't take me long to look at this metaphorically - a tool that sends out sound-waves, listens, interprets... And just as I thought "If only I had a tool that..." I knew what tool I do have that does this: Right, Wrong, Missing, Confusing.

We began using this tool over a year ago to help us review Sundays at Creekside. We all brought our honest feedback, and we solicited feedback from others - particularly visitors and newcomers - and then listened to what we went "right" or "wrong", and what was "missing" or "confusing". Since we've implemented it, this tool has helped us:
*identify & appreciate volunteers who go out of their way to serve.
*identify consistency issues in various ministries.
*be better aware of the things we say on stage.
*ensure that the first-time guest experience is positive.

I'm a big fan of this tool, and I've seen it used to review our community groups model, and I've even applied it in team settings with our Kids Ministry leaders, which has helped us improve specific programs. A few weeks ago, Don began encouraging us to use it with our teams weekly. At first, I couldn't fathom how that would work, but it's starting to come together in my mind as a weekly email that opens the dialogue, giving people a channel to send me their feedback. I'm sure I won't agree with them 100%, but that's okay by me - I really want to hear it, because I want to see our ministry grow stronger.

resources as you learn to sabbath

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

To finish up my series on sabbath, let me share with you the best of the resources that have helped me on my search for sabbath.

I mentioned early on and have tried to keep present the fact that these ideas are not my own. Godly men and women have gone before me, sought ahead of me, and come back to show the rest of us the way. I am only passing on what I have gleaned from the truth and principles that they've taught.

Books:

• Sabbath by Dan Allender - a great, contemplative read that helped me sink my teeth into the beauty of sabbath rest
  
  
• Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro - not really about sabbath, but more about where you'll end up if you don't sabbath. Included in the last few chapters are practical tips and a glimpse at the author's own routine for rest and renewal.

Teachings:

• Tim Keller, Work & Rest, 2003 - This message (available on iTunes) changed my perspective, showed me the link between my identity in Christ and my ability to rest. Would it be an exaggeration to say it changed my life? No, probably not. Much of my posts here are from the philosophy I adopted after this message rocked my face off.
  
  
• Mark Driscoll, Jesus the Sabbath Lord, 2010 - (Available on iTunes) Driscoll focuses on legalism and religion, two terms he uses synonymously. This is a good listen. Note that he doesn't spend much time on how to sabbath, but on how legalism gets in the way of God's intentions. He spends some time making fun of other religions for absurd rules, but he does finish it up by making fun of some of the absurd rules that Christians seem to promote, so at least he was being fair.
  

My Next Reads:
Here are a couple more books on my list. Note that I haven't read these so I'm not recommending them - I'm just excited to read them and you may be interested also.

• Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner - About much more than sabbath, Winner invites us to examine many Jewish spiritual disciplines, including prayer, fasting, and others, from a Christian perspective.
  
  
• Sabbath World by Judith Shulevitz - She coined the term "inner machinery" which I've referenced throughout these posts. Tim Keller read from some of her writing in his message listed above, which is how I learned about her book. Note that I believe she is writing from the Jewish perspective, while examining both the Jewish and Christian practice of sabbath.

May your journey be as fruitful and blessed as mine has been. As you learn more, I would love to hear about your journey.

Leadership Journey - Day 2, Part 2 - Angels Game

What a great evening! A few hours of downtime was just enough for a dip in the pool/hot tub. Early in the evening, we headed to see the Angels play the Braves. Their pitcher was on fire, pitching a shutout, and "we" (had to cheer for somebody, right?) scored 9 runs of our own. We got a group rate which included a hot dog and soda, and there was a fantastic fireworks show after the game. I'm feeling like it was the best $11 I've spent in a long time!

On our way back, while adrenaline was still high, the guys decided a late night run to In-n-Out was in order. By the time we actually got to the restaurant (which was completely packed out, even at 11pm), I was beginning to wind down and all I could really think of was bedtime...

Leadership Journey - Day 2, Part 1 - Saddleback

It's 2pm on the first day, and I already think this will be my favorite day. It'll be hard to beat, for sure. Enjoyed breakfast this morning - a custom omelette bar (note to self, embassy suites is awesome), then met with the group for a little introduction to our weekend. Loaded up the van and headed to Saddleback for a tour and conversation with their Children's Pastor, Steve Adams.

The space is amazing. Beautiful, very California, serene (or at least it was when there was hardly anyone there). They have a whole floor of classrooms for their little ones, then we toured the floor devoted to their 3-4th graders, and their 5th-6th grade floor. Wow! The 3-4th grade floor and 5th-6th grade floor each have a max occ of about 540 (that's of course sardine-tin style, they don't pack it that full at each service). But, amazing nonetheless.

The conversation with Steve was great. He's super real, down-to-earth, and his vision is inspiring. He gave us a look at how the guts of their children's ministry work, how their executive leadership team functions, and even a glimpse at the real person of Rick Warren.

We ate lunch in the Refinery - their student (youth) ministry space. Incredible - a huge building, with a few food-court style restaurants, an outdoor skate park, a baptism tank (they have a separate one by the kids building too!), and amazing detail worked into the building and displays.

At lunch, I had a conversation that haunted me a bit: the youth ministry director of our network asked me casually "So, Kate, what are you working on that burns inside of you?" And I had no answer. I admitted to him that I've been in a tough season, and that I still love what I do and considered it extremely important, but that I didn't feel on fire. I've been mulling that over all afternoon, and praying now that God might restore my passion and light a new fire within me. Complacency is a sneaky enemy.

How to Sabbath (Sabbath, Part 7)

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

One of the most frustrating parts of my journey in learning to sabbath is how little help there is on making sabbath happen. Everyone who tells you how to sabbath puts it in such a box that sabbath becomes work. (You’ve heard it - they say things like “Just rest!” but what does rest look like? What counts? What if I rest and I don’t feel rested? What if I don’t know how to rest!?)

Finally I came across a teaching that included some incredibly helpful “guidelines”. (And I hesitate to call it that!) While my disclaimer has indicated that most of my material in this series is an amalgamation, I’ll give credit in this portion because I am taking it point for point. The following points (as did the best parts of my learning from the earlier posts in this series) come from Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church:

If you don’t yet understand that real, deep, soul rest comes from a secure identity in Christ and choosing to live to His expectations alone, then the following will not help you. You may try to follow these steps, but they will be lacking foundation and your efforts will return void.

Two truths you must believe:

1. Sabbath is about liberation.

In Deuteronomy 5:15, God says: “Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and God brought you out of there... Therefore... observe the Sabbath day.”

If you don’t rest, you’re a slave. Whether you’re slave to your own ambitions, others’ expectations, a demanding career choice or an over-committed life doesn’t matter - you’re still a slave.

2. Sabbath is about trust.

Are you God? Do you make the world go around? Do you bring money in? (Yes, I know you work for it - who gave you the job? Oh, you got it yourself? Okay, who gave you the time to work? Who gave you the breath you breathe while you work? Uh huh, thought so.)

When you trust that God can provide for you for seven days when you work six days, then you will be able to sabbath.

Once you have accepted these truths, there are a few disciplines to help you make the most of your sabbath:

1. Take more sabbath time.
How much? Only you and God can decide that, but if you’re reading this, you’re probably not taking enough, so definitely more than you’re taking now.

2. Balance your sabbath time.

Here are three things to structure your sabbath time - try to work in all three in each sabbath day.

• Do something contemplative. This means worship - spend extra time in your Bible, in prayer, listen to worship music. Spend time sitting quietly, meditating on Scripture, listening for the voice of God to speak in your life.
• Do something avocational. This means something other than what you do every other day. If you’re a landscaper, maybe you shouldn’t do yardwork on your sabbath. If you cook six days a week and you don’t enjoy cooking, arrange to not cook on your sabbath.
• Do something inactive. In the Old Testament, even the ground got a sabbath. Every plot of land was planted for six years and then was left unplanted on the seventh year. Whatever came up was allowed to come up. If a pile of dirt deserves this treatment, you do too.

3. Be accountable.

As you’re beginning to build this habit, ask a friend, spouse or family member to check in on you. You’ll also find that there are seasons in your life that are prone to being under-rested (think launching a new business or having a baby). This is fine to an extent, and for a season, but before you walk into such a time, ask someone to help you establish a reasonable pattern of rest after a set amount of time.

4. Inject sabbath time into your work.

In the Old Testament, there was a “law of gleaning” which prevented farmers from reaping all the way to the edges and corners of their fields. That which was left was for the sole purpose of allowing the poor to harvest food for themselves - a sort of welfare program of that society. When you reap all the way to the corners of your field, you are expending everything you have. For the sake of your own welfare, don’t do this.

What does that look like? Don’t give so much of yourself at work that you come home with nothing left to give your family. Don’t over-commit so that you never sit down to eat together. Don’t go to bed late and wake up early. Only you and God can really figure out what this looks like in your life.

Again, without first understanding that your identity is in Christ, and without first understanding that sabbath is about liberation and trust, these disciplines will do nothing for you. You will never find the deep, soul rest that you are longing for because you will remain distracted by the need to prove yourself. That is not the best way, and you will not be able to do it forever. Eventually, your world will come crashing down around you. Let God’s approval be enough, and may you find complete satisfaction in your work, because your biggest challenge, your biggest work, has already been finished by Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow, I'll share some resources that have helped me in my search for sabbath.

Leadership Journey - Day 1 - Getting there...

I've had a serious case of "vacationitis" this week. It's not really a vacation - but "business-tripitis" makes me sound weird. But it's exciting to take a long weekend away from responsibilities and be able to learn, observe and be rejuvenated.

Had an uneventful flight from SeaTac to Santa Ana (not considering the incredible turbulence and rather bumpy landing). We got checked into our hotel room and even had a few minutes to rest and catch up with one another - I'm rooming with two other children's pastors.

Met up with the rest of the group for dinner. There are 12 of us - two leaders from our network office, hosting the trip, as well as one's spouse, 5 children's pastors and 4 youth pastors. Had a huge dinner at Claim Jumper - enjoying the chance to get to know one another better, then wandered around the adjacent mall (which gave me a chance to buy a few things I'd forgotten to pack - I always forget something!) We even stopped at the grocery store on the way back to the hotel to stock up on snacks - these guys have thought of everything!

Stayed up late (well, late for me!) with the girls, and definitely was ready for bed when we finally turned out the lights at 11.

Tending to My Own Eden (Sabbath, Part 6)

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

It’s been a long journey for me to learn about sabbath, and how to control that inner machinery. Just last week, as I prepared for this opportunity to speak, I had a teaching moment with God.

My husband and I bought our first home two years ago, and a major factor in the house we chose was the size of the yard. We looked out the sliding glass door to the backyard, in early January when it was covered in snow, and said “Wow, this yard needs a dog! And some kids!!”

But the funny thing about a giant backyard is that grass grows, and therefore, needs mowing. This time of year, it grows unnecessarily fast in these parts. And really, you can’t let it go more than two weeks without becoming “those people” and single-handedly bringing down the value of all the homes around you. (I’m a bit of a reactionary, can you tell?)

Four weeks ago, Matt hurt his back. And so, the lawn sat untended. (So much work for one person - I couldn't fathom doing it myself...) And it sat. And it sat. And it sat. And here we are - almost two weeks overdue. I arrive home one day, take a look at my very successful crop of dandelions and I think “Oh, maaaan, what will the neighbors think!?”

And fresh on the heels of that thought comes the Spirit: “Oh yeah? The neighbors? How about me? Do you care what I think?”

Ouch. Sorry, Lord. I don’t tell you this to give you a reason not to mow your lawn - in fact the opposite is true. God has given us this home - when we thought we’d never be able to afford a home - and therefore we will be held accountable for stewarding it well. Like Eden, that which God has given me must be tended. Instead, I tell you this because it’s a motivation check. You see, if I was truly worried about what the neighbors thought, mowing my lawn would be weary, burdensome work. But if I am finding my identity in Christ, and therefore only concerned with His opinion, then I am liberated from these worries and instead can focus on what He has asked me to do - tend to my own little Eden, and to do so at rest, because that blasted inner machine has been shut off. Hooray!

Finding Restoration (Sabbath, Part 5)

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

Back to Luke 6: "On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Get up and stand in front of everyone." So he got up and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, "I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?" He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.”

The religious regulations of the day said that you could save a dying person, but this man is clearly not dying. His shriveled hand had probably been so since birth, so Jesus is again challenging a notion, as He’s been known to do.

What does Jesus do? He restores the man’s hand. I imagine the crowd asks “Jesus, what are you doing!? It’s the sabbath!!” and Jesus replies “I am doing exactly what I ought to be doing on the sabbath. I am restoring.”

Sabbath is about restoration, and true restoration comes only from Christ.

An interesting thing happens when we put verse 5 up against verse 11:
“Then Jesus said to them, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath." But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.”

When Jesus said “I am Lord of the Sabbath”, He was claiming outright to be God. God instituted the sabbath, Jesus claims to be Lord over it, therefore, Jesus is claiming to be God. This makes His critics crazy, and so they [jumping forward a bit!] kill Him...

Think about Jesus on the cross: writing in agony, bearing the weight of our sins, as 2 Corinthians 5:21 says:

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

In that moment when Jesus says “Why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34) - that is the moment when God has turned away from Jesus, just as your sin and mine separates us from God, Jesus is (unfairly) separated from God, because He has willingly taken our sin upon Himself.


He is rest-less.

Then, what does He say, as He dies? “It is finished.” (John 19:30)

The greatest work ever completed. The greatest accomplishment. Jesus must have found incredible satisfaction in His work, because after it was finished, He rested.

Even the most relentless, driven inner machinery cannot do this kind of work. It cannot save you from the penalty of your own sins. Only Christ saves us. It is not what we do that saves us - be it for others, ourselves or for God - it is what has already been done.

The only set of eyes you need approval from have already accepted you because God looks at you, in Christ and says “It is good... It is finished...” Because Christ’s righteousness has been gifted to us, the Creator of the universe looks at you and says “This is my child with whom I am well pleased”.

Still more to come tomorrow...

All I Need to Do is Finished (Sabbath, Part 4)

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

As I said earlier, the problem with our culture is not the presence of work. It is the absence of deep rest. And we lack this rest because even when we take physical rest - be it sleep or otherwise - the inner machinery is still going. There are still expectations to live up to, demands to meet and ways we must prove ourselves. As long as you live this way, your work will never be finished, and you can’t find real rest until your work is finished.

But your self image can’t rest on who you say you are, or who others say you are. Your self image must rest on who God says you are.

There is no leisure activity, no hobby, no bubble bath that will give you the deep rest that you need! Like God looked at Creation and said “Very good!!”, totally satisfied, you will not rest until you learn to look at what you have accomplished and can say “It is good. All I need to do is finished." 
But wait - this goes deeper than simply being satisfied by the projects finished, the chores done and the to-do items checked off your list.

Your ability to look at what has been accomplished and say “All I need to do is finished” comes from finding your identity in Christ’s deeds instead of your own deeds.

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

More tomorrow (and the next day... and the next day... and the next day...)

The Source of Sabbath (Sabbath, Part 3)

[This is a continuation of a series from the message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. To read the whole series, click here. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

Luke 6:1-5 gives us a glimpse of what Jesus thinks about Sabbath:
“One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. Some of the Pharisees asked, "Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?" Jesus answered them, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions." Then Jesus said to them, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."

Reaping - what Jesus was doing (technically) when He and His companions walked through the grainfields - was one of 39 forms of work forbidden by the religious regulations of the day, so Jesus took some flack. But notice that Jesus doesn’t say “Oh, that doesn’t apply to me!” or “That doesn’t matter anymore” or “How legalistic!”

Jesus says “[I am] Lord of the Sabbath”, in essence “I am what the Sabbath is all about.” And He tells us a story: when David and his companions were running for their lives, they came to the tabernacle, and they ate the showbread. This bread was a consecrated bread, prepared for the priests alone, and was an a part of worship.

It seems at first glance that David is making a mistake here, but nowhere in Scripture is he ever condemned for this. God never says that what David did was wrong.

So what is Jesus talking about, when He tells this story that seems unrelated to His current criticism? I think He’s challenging a notion. Think about what this implies: worship regulations can be set aside in a pinch.

There’s nowhere in the Bible that we see moral law set aside in a pinch, and yet we’ve just seen it twice in three verses with worship regulations - Jesus’ picks grain on the sabbath, and David eats holy, consecrated bread.

Why would it be that these worship regulations can be set aside then? Because they’re temporary, and are pointing toward something that will one day come along and make them obsolete. It seems as though He’s saying “Your regulations point to me. I am the source of Sabbath.”

Work Doesn’t Make Us Weary (Sabbath, Part 2)

[This is part 2 of a message I gave at the Creekside Women’s Retreat. Here’s part 1. Please also read my disclaimer in part 1!]

God didn’t intend for us to be “busy” in the way that most of us are busy - which is really just a socially acceptable word for “over-committed”. (You might even call it a four-letter-word?) :)

God instituted for us a day of rest, called “sabbath”. Established at creation, God set the example for us. He did His work in six days, and rested on day seven.

Why did God rest? Does He get tired? No. Does He get weary? No. Does He get burned out? No.

Genesis 2:1-2 tells us:

“Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. 2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.”

God rested because He was finished. And if you look back through the account of creation, you’ll notice that every time He created something, He said “That’s good!” And after He finished His work of creation, He said “That’s very good!”


God found utter satisfaction in the work He had accomplished.

Work isn’t what makes us weary. There was work in the garden of Eden: plants to tend, animals to name. No, work isn’t what makes us weary. So if work isn’t what makes us weary, what does?

Let me identify it as what I’ve heard called “inner machinery”. This inner machinery is a need to prove ourselves; it’s the emotional and psychological work we do inside of telling ourselves that we must measure up, we must prove to ourselves that we matter, that we’re not just wasted space. That inner machinery is like a car going 60 miles an hour. It doesn’t stop immediately, and it takes practice to make it stop effectively. And that machinery, that keeps on running, is what makes us weary.

More tomorrow...

About Sabbath (Sabbath, Part 1)

[Disclaimer: While I cling pretty hard to the idea that there is “nothing new under the sun”, my inner English teacher is ever nervous about committing plagiarism. The ideas I present here are nothing new, and not my own, but principles I have learned from minds more brilliant than mine. I am still learning, I do not pretend to have it all together nor to know all there is to know. My hope is that you will read this for what it is - an amalgamation of things I’ve learned, and that you will understand my deep gratitude to those who have walked this path before me and now turn back to teach and lead others.]

Today I was honored to share about a theme God has been teaching me over several challenging years: sabbath. It hasn’t been easy to learn, and I feel that the learning curve has been ever so steep!

I shared my thoughts on sabbath at the first Creekside Women’s Retreat, and before it was time for me to speak, I noticed that every song we sang, every person who shared their own testimony throughout the morning all said something that lined up exactly with what was on my heart to share. I love when God does that. I sat in the front row, raring to go because I was so excited, and at the same time, compressing the feelings because I thought I might cry. God is just that amazing.

But God also has a sense of humor that I think we forget to give Him credit for. And just as He was in my learning, my writing, and my teaching, He was in my preparation. And so, God - yes, I’m pointing my finger at Him - made off with the last page of my notes. That is, of course, the only page that had specific, numbered bullet points, which I was then required to recall from memory (and of which I didn’t do such a good job).

But my prayer from the very beginning was that God could cut through my lack of eloquence and instead bring forth truth that would be useful to others. So I confessed to the ladies, as I was halfway through page 5, that page 6 was suddenly noticed missing. They were a very gracious bunch, and I promptly decided that God could still speak if He chose to do so, with or without my notes.

So, all that to say that I knew my material would make for a decent set of blog posts, and I promised the ladies that I would post the missing parts later... I’m going to attempt to post the written version of what I said, for those of you that weren’t present, so this is basically the full-meal-deal (if you could call it that!) So, let’s roll, shall we?

I’ve been the Kids Pastor at Creekside for 4 1/2 years. I love what I do - there’s incredible value in pointing kids to a God that loves them more than I ever could, and leading the team of adults and young adults that help them know this God.

This position has existed in many different seasons, and while I won’t go into history now, I’ve reflected and noticed that one theme in my life remains: I’m busy.

Are you busy, too? I know you are, because you’ve told me. Before the retreat started this morning, I had 8 conversations with people who all said - in various forms - that they’re busy. You tell me you’re busy, both in words and actions, and I believe you because more than ever before, we are simply a busy society.

Everyone is busy. Culture says that busyness is equal to meaning. If you’re not busy, you’re not accomplishing, achieving, and certainly not succeeding. Whereas one used to be defined by a social role - mother, father, daughter, son, husband, wife - we are now defined by what we achieve, or worse, what our kids achieve. (And that is another topic for another day!)

We are so busy that even our days off are filled with chores and to-do items. Maybe you rolled your eyes when I said “days off” because you haven’t had one of those since your oldest was born 8 years ago?

But is all this busyness really the best way? Is this God’s intention for our lives?

More tomorrow...

on sabbath

a common theme in my life: learning how to rest.

i joke about being "high strung and tightly wound". i'm not sure those are completely accurate, but as my own worst critic, and with a tendency to overreact, i don't hesitate to apply some hyperbole in my self-description.

but hand-in-hand with these characteristics, i've struggled to learn how to rest - i mean, really rest.

it's not enough to get extra sleep. sleep solves physical tiredness. but when you push yourself hard, always trying to prove yourself, trying to cross off items on your mile-long to-do list, you reach a different kind of tiredness. it's called weariness. it's a lack of real rest - the kind of rest that restores.

God has led me on a journey over the past few years in learning to rest. tomorrow, i have the great privilege to share what i have learned at Creekside's women's retreat. i'm praying that my journey will be useful, and that what i've learned can, perhaps, shorten the learning curve for others. i'll post more tomorrow.

what i read: experiencing God, by henry blackaby

i set a lofty goal for myself this month - there were 5 books i needed to read, not including two fiction books i've also been working through. this week, i finished up blackaby's "Experiencing God", which was the second book i've crossed off my may reading list.

what i loved: as much as i love hearing the philosophy behind a principle or ideology, sometimes i just need to be told how to do it. blackaby has nicely paired theology with practicality, including several reflection questions throughout each chapter, as well as several exercises one can do to help them draw nearer to God. blackaby's theology is spot on, and he clearly speaks from a lifetime of devoted service and personal relationship with God.

what i didn't love: each chapter could have been more succinct. some of the illustrations were powerful, others seemed redundant.

overall: i'd highly recommend this book. i borrowed it this time around, but have since ordered a copy for my library. i know i'll go back to it, especially for those spiritual exercises.

in one week...

i'll be posting (hopefully) from santa ana, california, participating in a "leadership journey" which includes 3 days of learning in both training and observing a handful of churches with groundbreaking ministry and leadership models. and bonus, i'm going to disneyland!

what i read: leading on empty by wayne cordeiro

first book completed on my ambitious may reading list (7ish books!) - "leading on empty" by wayne cordeiro. this was an excellent and easy read. (there's alot to be said for well-spaced pages - you cruise through the book and feel like you're making incredible progress.)

while written for leaders who have burnt out or are going down in flames, it was a useful read for me. i'm a fairly extreme personality - high highs and low lows - so when i'm under-rested, depending too much on my own strength, or trying to hard to live up to other people's standards, i tend to become very unreasonable.

it's probably good that i read this now - while i'm in something of a "high high". i was able to apply a few things to my routine immediately, which will help prevent me from hitting those low lows.

what i liked: cordeiro is vulnerable. he tells his story with an honesty that reminded me that i'm not alone. he also included a few chapters on his own personal spiritual care routine, which keeps him grounded - this was helpful to me, as i've been considering establishing an intention routine.

what i disliked: n/a - also, i finished it a few days ago, so i'm not sure i can recall any complaints. :)

waiting to be a mother...

the question i get the most when meeting new people, especially at our church, is "do you have kids?" and those that already realize that we don't have kids will ask instead "are you planning to have kids?"

we're becoming increasingly comfortable talking about this, so today i'm sharing out loud. we've been trying to have a baby for about four years, and are considered medically infertile. (the why is another topic for another day)

mother's day bears for me a slight sting, but i work hard to avoid the "woe is me" attitude. my God is a big God, and He is journeying with us down this path for a very good reason. i just don't know what that is yet. (inside information that suggests it's for character development.)

i don't want to be pitied. i want to be encouraged. i definitely don't want advice - trust me, we're past the advice stage. you don't have any advice that our doctors haven't already pointed out as being not-applicable to us. (sorry, but it's true!) but i do crave your prayers - mostly for God's guidance in the direction of our family.

so there it is. mother's day is an annual reminder that i am in waiting, and i'm at peace with that. it gives me more time to just appreciate the wonderful mothers i know, including my own.

on the death of osama bin laden

many are celebrating today after the news last night from our president that osama bin laden has been killed. while i understand their relief, that his deceptive ways and murderous plots have died with him, i am confused by their celebration.

it has taken me some contemplation to find the words, so be patient with me while i try to explain. whenever i'm unsure as to how i feel about any given issue, i go back to scripture - i start with "what i know"...

• Romans 5:8 says: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
• John 3:16 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

i have seen just a glimpse of the expanse of God's love in the way he has redeemed my own life. it is not a stretch for me to know that he loved bin laden too. some will struggle with this - but God does not love selectively. God loves us all, but he is displeased by our sinfulness.

so now that i've gone back to "what i know", "how i feel" is this: the Gospel is that Jesus, the perfect Son of God, died to save us from the death penalty for our sins, and not just mine and yours, but everyone's: hitler, hussein, bin laden. so, without knowing what occurred in bin laden's last few hours, what went through his mind and his heart in those last few moments, i can't say for sure where he'll end up... but unless he genuinely sought forgiveness from Jesus, then it's true that he will spend an eternity in hell. some would argue that he deserves it, because they see him as a "bad person" in comparison to themselves, the "good people" that they are. but that is not God's standard. God's standard is "that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

some might say he did it to himself. this would be true. it is only by our own rejection of the Gospel that we spend eternity in hell. but would Jesus be so flippant? i don't think so. Jesus is the epitome of compassionate - it's the only way that he could have died for our sins when he, himself had done nothing wrong.

and so today, i am saddened for bin laden. and instead of focusing on his death, i am choosing to pray for the safety of our troops in the middle east, praying that there will not be a successor to follow bin laden, but instead that his organization will disband. please pray with me.