Shema, Pt 5: Family Rules

What's your attitude about rules? Some love them. Some hate them. The truth is: we all need them. Rules provide the structure and consistency that kids rely on to feel safe, to explore the world, and to learn about what is works in life.

In our NEXTgeneration Kids Ministry, we've just begin transitioning every gathering to using the same set of expectations:

• Be kind.
• Be responsible.
• Be respectful.
• Be safe.

These rules apply to every age group, because every child can meet these expectations according to his or her development.

You probably have some family rules, whether they are visible or invisible, spoken or unspoken. Whether you have official family rules or not, let me encourage you to make time this week to sit down as a family and talk about what your family's rules should look like.

Why do we need rules?
Rules have existed from the beginning of time. When God put Adam and Eve in the garden, there was one rule: "Don't eat that." Under Moses' leadership, the 10 commandments were established, and soon after, the law of the Old Testament (Leviticus, Numbers & Deuteronomy).

The Shema is all about our attitude toward God's rules. If we love God with our whole being, we will want to obey him. The Shema commands us to know these rules, and to pass them onto our children. Not casually, but intentionally. The Shema tells us: Talk about them every day. All day. Whenever the opportunity (or teaching moment!) arises. Keep them visible. Don't forsake God's commands!

Jesus made clear to us what God's commands look like for us as His followers, when He said that all of the law could be summed up in these two: Love God. Love others.

Why did God create these rules?
We teach the kids that rules serve to protect us and help us get along with one another.

That rule about stopping when the light's red? It protects us (so we don't get hit by another car), and it helps us get along with one another (so we don't make others mad). How about that biggie about not murdering? It protects us (so others don't do the same to us...) and it helps us get along with others (so we don't do stupid stuff when we're mad). At the swimming pool, we don't run because we'll probably slip and fall (no explanation needed).

Consider this: Obeying the rules is like using an umbrella. When we obey, we're under the umbrella, while the rain (life?) falls all around us. We stay dry, protected. When we disobey, we step out from under the umbrella. Is it still raining? Yep. Are we protected from the rain? Nope.

Tips for creating family rules:

• Let your kids have as much "say so" as you do in this venture. You might be surprised at the rules they want to have in place.
  
• Rules shouldn't be all about "don't". Use positive language wherever you can.
  
• Family rules should always be up for review by the whole family, at the right time and place - but on a day to day basis, we all (parents, you too!) follow the rules. (See below.)
  
• If you want your kids to follow the rules, be the example. If you don't tell the truth all the time, why should they? And if you lose your temper and say something unkind, humble yourself, apologize in a full sentence, ask their forgiveness, and patch it up. It's biblical.
  
• Expect kids to say they're sorry when they break a rule, and to right a wrong against someone else. If one rule is "Be kind", and your son is constantly antagonizing his sister, it's time to let him think up his consequence, and to make things right with her!
  
• Keep it simple. There are some REALLY elaborate lists out there that include some really odd rules. ("Smile"? What about when I'm sad? Should I hide it? How about "Have a good attitude" instead.) Avoid too many rules - your 8 year old can not memorize a list of 15 rules!
  
• Make sure your consequences are fair, consistent, and that you follow through. Rules with no consequences are not rules at all.

How to start the conversation with your family...
Ask some questions:

• Why do we need rules?
• What are some rules you have at school? At church?
• What are some of the rules you think we have at home?
• What rules should we have at home?

Make it visible:

• Do something creative together to write out your rules.
  
• Keep them visible. Hang them up. Post them on the fridge. Tattoo them on their forearms. Leave stickies on the bathroom mirror. Out of sight? Out of mind.

Need some ideas? Here are a few of my favorites from around the interwebz:









On a related note, if you need a little help making dinner an enjoyable family time, check out this great blog post called "Rules of Dinner".

What rules do you have for your family? Leave me a comment, or post to our Parents of NEXTgeneration Kids Facebook page.

This is a continuation of a series I'm posting during our study of the book of Romans at Creekside, as we encourage families to memorize the "Shema" together. Previous posts here:

• Intro
  
• What is the Shema?
  
• Why memorize?
  
• Making Memorization Fun
  
• Making a Mezuzah

Shema, Pt 4: Making a Mezuzah

"...Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:9, the last verse of the Shema)

The Israelites took literally Moses' instruction to write the commands of God on their doorposts, enclosing a scroll of parchment in a decorative box, and attaching it to their door frame. On the parchment is written a part of the Shema, and when installed, the mezuzah is both a blessing to the home and a reminder, as the Shema instructs of God's commands.

Since we're learning the Shema together, and keeping it visual is the best way to help us memorize, work together as a family this week to create a mezuzah for your home. It doesn't have to be elaborate - I've seen them made from an empty matchbox, lego, an empty glue stick - but you could even make them from a toilet paper core, or an origami box. Want to go all out? Make several and hang them on the different door frames around your home.

Most mezuzahs have the Hebrew letter "shin" on the outside, which is the first letter of one of the names of God: Shaddai.

Have your child write out the Shema passage, Deuteronomy 6:4-9, on a small piece of paper and roll it up to fit it inside. If your mezuzah is too small, you could just write the word "shema" in Hebrew and talk about that that means.

Show me your mezuzah! Leave me a comment, email me, or post to our Parents of NEXTgeneration Kids Facebook page.

This is a continuation of a series I'm posting during our study of the book of Romans at Creekside, as we encourage families to memorize the "Shema" together. Previous posts here:

• Intro
  
• What is the Shema?
  
• Why memorize?
  
• Making Memorization Fun

Sources: Red & blue lego mezuzah, posted on Flickr. Mezuzah photo above, found here.

Shema, Pt 2: Why memorize?

This is a continuation of a series I'm posting during our study of the book of Romans at Creekside, as we encourage families to memorize the "Shema" together. Previous posts here:

• Intro
  
• What is the Shema?

I struggled with closed-book tests in school because studying was hard for me. I always appreciated the teachers who were more interested in evaluating your ability to locate the information over your ability to memorize it. In other words, I like open-book tests.

Today, we have the internet, the Bible, and useful Bible tools readily available. We can find what the Bible says about any topic, in a snap. We might be tempted to dismiss scripture memorization as an old-school (old-church?) practice.

But there's value in memorizing God's Word - regardless of how many tools you have at your disposal. When we internalize God's Word, God's Spirit uses it to speak to our hearts.

When I am afraid, God whispers to me "I did not give You a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control..." (2 Timothy 1:7)

When I am distracted and frustrated, God says "I will keep you in perfect peace, if you keep your mind focused on me..." (Isaiah 26:3)

When I am ready to give up, God says "Consider it joy that you are being tested, because testing develops perseverance..." (James 1:2-3)

And when I am tempted to think that we don't need to help our kids memorize scripture, God says "hide My Word in your heart, so that you will not sin against Me..." (Psalm 119:11)

I did all of those from memory - not to show off, but to tell you that memorizing scripture helps me live my life guided by the Spirit.

And in case you think teaching kids to memorize scripture is a fruitless effort, let me tell you my own experience: when I was 5, I was very briefly involved in a kids program that emphasized scripture memory. The very first verse I learned was John 3:16: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever shall believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

That's the King James Version. I don't read the King James Version. My family didn't attend church, and we never talked about Jesus at home. But that verse stuck. When I was 17, I came to Christ. I still didn't know what "begotten" meant. In my early 20s, the words really clicked, and it all made sense. This is why I memorize scripture now, and this is why I encourage you and your family to do the same.

Kids are sponges. What would you like yours to absorb?

Thursday, I'll post a few ideas for making memorization fun at home.

Have you memorized a verse that God keeps bringing back to you? Tell me about it! Leave me a comment below.

Shema, Pt 1: What is Shema?

(This is a continuation of a series I'm posting during our study of the book of Romans at Creekside, as we encourage families to memorize the "Shema" together. Even though this is primarily focused on elementary-aged kids, there's no reason why you couldn't begin teaching your preschoolers. Learn more here.)

"Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:4-9*)

This is the statement of faith, from the Old Testament, known as the "Shema". The word "Shema" comes from the first word of the passage, literally meaning "to hear". But the implication is that we are not just to hear, we are also to act. So "shema" could mean "listen and obey".

You know that joy you experience, when you have a teaching moment with a child and they receive and understand what you say? That's shema.

I think God must feel the same joy every time we listen to Him - His Word, His voice in our hearts, and do what He says. Shema.

The trouble is this: as sinful humans, we are not inclined toward shema. We are inclined to do the opposite. To ignore. To disobey. I bet you've experienced that with your kids too.

We can only truly shema with God's help, and we can only live out the commands of the Shema with God's help.

So, as you begin your own look at the Shema, ask God's help in this journey: to guide you, as you live out the commands - to love God with all of your being, to commit yourself to His Word, to teach His Word to your children, all day, every day. I'm praying for you too.

As a family:

• Once this week, open up your Bibles together. Locate Deuteronomy 6:4-9, and show it to your kids. Remind them that the Bible is God's Word, like a letter for us. Highlight or underline the words. Tell your kids that we call this part the "Shema"; tell them what "Shema" means. Read the Shema out loud, and talk about each part. What does it mean to love God with all your heart? Your soul? Your strength? What does it mean to write them on the doorposts and gates?
  
  
• Make something together to go on your table, so you remember to read it and talk about it throughout the week. I made this "table-sitter" out of a few scraps of paper I had lying around - taping the edges of 3 pieces together to form a triangle. It doesn't have to be elaborate! Let your child write out the words, or decorate it with stickers. Make it fun. Do it together.
  
  
• Put your table-sitter on the dining room table, the bathroom counter, or your child's nightstand - wherever you'll see it and have a moment to say it together or talk about it. Try to say the Shema together a few times throughout the week to get comfortable with the words.

(*This is the NLT version, which we use with kids in 1st-6th grades at Creekside. It's a paraphrased translation. Check out the NIV version here.)

New Blog Series Coming this Week!

Yesterday, we began our study of Romans at Creekside: for the next several months, our adults and elementary-aged kids will be working their way through the book of Romans, investigating God, Jesus and a whole host of topics that Paul, it's author, wrote about to the church in Rome, about 56 A.D.

During the next 8 weeks (maybe longer!?), we're encouraging kids and their parents to memorize a passage of scripture together, as a family. We'll be looking at Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - called the "Shema" (pronounced "shi-MA").

Studying Romans, memorizing Shema... Why?
Romans is a foundational book in the Bible. Paul teaches us the gospel with a simplicity - and also a complexity - that few authors could pull off.

The Shema is a foundational statement of faith. For thousands of years, this confession of faith is how God's people acknowledged the one true God and His commandments for them.

You can't believe in Jesus and not follow the Shema. You can't follow the Shema without believing in Jesus.

Does the Shema still apply to us today?
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He answered by quoting the Shema. Yes, it still applies to us.

About this series...
We want to equip families with ideas and opportunities to grow together in faith. So on Monday or Tuesday of each week, I'll be posting a few thoughts or an activity you can do with your kids to learn more about the Shema, and about Jesus. I hope you'll follow along.