My Sunflower

I keep a journal of milestones and special moments with Boy, knowing full well that it might never be given to him, that he might leave our family, making my notes and thoughts moot, or at least, irrelevant. But, we decided a long time ago that we didn't want to not do things simply because a child might leave us, and have wasted months or years if a child does stay forever, so I journal to make note of the things I want him to know about his childhood when he grows up. And if that means I get "too attached" and my heart is smashed against the pavement, so be it.

This is yesterday's entry.

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In our garden, we're growing sunflowers. They're 6 feet tall now - maybe more - towering over everything else in the garden. But they weren't always that way. Together, you and I have monitored their growth almost daily, excited and trying to be patient. Some days, the changes were noticeable - new leaves, a wider stem, or a few more inches in height. Other days, there seemed to be no change at all. A few weeks ago, flower heads finally began to form at the very top; tight, little bunches of green fronds. For sure, we were close, I thought. And then - nothing. Days of nothing. It's easy to grow impatient.

But two days ago, we saw those green fronds give way and begin to curl back, revealing a tight bunch of yellow fronds - petals - and I thought for sure we'd have fully-bloomed sunflowers the next day.

I was wrong.

Instead, those thin petals are curling back out ever so slowly, one at a time, making me wonder if we'll ever have a full sunflower - let alone one on each of the 5, healthy plants.

You, little love, are a lot like this flower. We can watch you grow by leaps and bounds one month, and then see your growth stall out, even recede, as you struggle with your reality the next month. It hurts to watch you struggle and know there's not much we can do. And it's easy to grow impatient, or expect a sudden blossoming when in reality, we need to be satisfied with, and celebrate, the appearance of one, tiny petal. And most importantly, we do not lose hope. 

You are my sunflower, and God created you as such. Only He determines when you bloom.

June in Review

June was a ridiculous amount of celebrating - something different every weekend. I'm celebrated out.

• First weekend: Allie & Paul's wedding, in Hawaii. Absolutely beautiful. Also, a rather dramatic trip, thanks to the super hot sand.
• Second weekend: Matt's birthday. Happy 29, dear.
• Third weekend: Father's Day. So basically, like last weekend, but for a different reason. (I really do appreciate my husband as a father... Really.)
• Fourth weekend: Boy's birthday party. He turned 8, so we celebrated with our family at a nearby park. 
• Fifth weekend (because it was one of those months: Boy's 2nd birthday party - this time, with friends. Not sure I'll ever do that again - it was just a lot of partying. :)

Other things in June:

• We gave Boy a bike for his birthday, so now we're having regular riding lessons...
• The garden is taking on a life of it's own. The sunflowers are taller than me, the mess of lettuce seed I spilled about 45 days ago is now bush-like greens, the tomatoes plants look like they could hide a small child, and I can only hope the potato plants have as much happening underground as they have happening above-ground. But there is something wrong with my spinach...
• The strawberry harvest was amazing. So yummy. Lost motivation halfway through all the busyness, and therefore, lost about 1/3 of our harvest to bugs and mold and Memphis.
• Matt worked hard on the shed that will become his workshop, so that our garage can be finished and become a family room, so that we can turn our existing family room into a bedroom, so that we can have more children... Follow?
• My aunt is home for the summer, before she moves to Saudi Arabia. She's living right around the corner from us, and we couldn't be more thrilled. Boy has found a new favorite playmate in JoDee, and I love her company AND the free babysitting.
• Boy's case was move from "concurrent planning" (meaning they were striving toward reuniting with his biological family as Plan A, while working toward adoption as a Plan B) to "adoption/permanency planning". That's a big deal... but it will take several more months before anything is even remotely finalized, and it could change at any time.

This is my verse this month: "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3 - fitting, no?

May in Review

• We hosted our annual Kids Ministry Team Dinner - so fun! And beautiful! I'm really proud of our team!
• Celebrated Allie's pending nuptials with a lovely dinner party, hosted by some family friends.
• The garden is struggling along. If all else fails, I will have potatoes, snap peas and onions. Everything else looks horrifically weak.
• JoDee bought a second condo which we spent the last week of the month refurbishing, so she can live in it for a few months and then we can rent it out.
• Boy had his "1st Grade Concert" at school - so cute! Whoever thought to combine science and music together is a genius, because my kid knows what a "bivalve" is, thanks to the lyrics he learned for the concert's "Under the Sea" theme.
• Maui. Read about the drama here. 

How is it June already!?

My Best Friend's Wedding

(Or, "The Highs, and Lows, and Highs, of Maui")

(Or, "We Went to Maui and Lived to Tell About It")

We spent 3 days in Maui, plus a day of travel on either end. What a beautiful place. We will certainly cherish a few memories in particular. A few others, not so much.

Day 1 - Parasailing, Snorkeling, and Other Daring Adventures

Original Plan: Parasail, Snorkel, Eat, Shop, Swim, Eat some more (not necessarily in that order)

Revised Plan: 

We were tickled to be in Maui! We met up with Paul & Allie for an early parasailing adventure. We set it up as a surprise for Matt, and I was along for observation purposes only. We're both afraid of heights, but he's much more inclined to overcome his fears. After watching the family ahead of us, and then Allie & Paul, I talked myself into it. Nobody had to apply any pressure at all - the take off and landing was so easy, and the risk of being dropped into the water (my real fear) seemed acceptably minimal.

I was nervous until the moment my feet were off the boat deck, and then it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Peaceful. Beautiful. I was ready to do it again before we'd even landed.

(Paul & Allie - his first time, but she's an old hand.)

(That's us!! I still can't believe I did it!)

I was itching to get into the ocean, but we were thirsty. We stopped to rest and rehydrate at a little restaurant on the beach, then walked down to Black Rock, on the north end of the beach, to snorkel. Matt & I snorkeled on our honeymoon in Mexico, but it just doesn't compare to Hawaii. We took our time, swimming out and around the rock, and then drifting back with the surf (well, except for that 20 minute period that we had to work hard against the current and I had to continually talk myself out of drowning). The fish were active and unafraid, and we'd heard a rumor about a sea turtle hiding out in a cave down below (too far below for us to venture).

After quite a lot of salt water, we were ready for lunch and opted to walk down to Whaler's Village, on the south end of the beach. We knew the sand was hot. We just didn't realize how hot. Matt had given up on his flip flops, finding them inconvenient. We were nearly at our destination, single file, when I realized Matt was no longer with us. Retracing my steps, I found him on the lawn of another resort, in the care of their general manager, a surf instructor and a big burly dude with a first aid kit, his feet covered in huge blisters and bleeding. They shuttled us to a doctor nearby, who cleaned up the wounds, wrapped up his feet, gave me prescriptions and instructions, put him on crutches and sent us on our way...

So, that put a little damper on the trip. Suddenly the game plan was changing and we had no idea how much he'd be up for. (Turns out, not much.) That night, Allie & Paul took me to dinner when Matt insisted that I go do something fun. I did discover Loco Moco, new favorite food.

Day 2 - In Which We Make the Best of Things, or Try to, Anyway.

Original plan: To rent a car and spend the day exploring the island, doing whatever we saw fit to do.

Revised plan: Matt not being mobile, it felt like our options were limited. I could amuse myself for the day, or we could find some activity to do together. We figured a car rental would still work - at least he'd be sitting, and we could see the scenery, which is better than laying around, right? Maybe.

So we did rent a car - a Mustang convertible, (is there any other way to go?) in cherry red (or "arrest-me red" as I like to think of it). We headed out toward Hana, enjoying the scenery - but I tell you, the hairpin turns, one lane bridges, and narrow roads are downright harrowing. We made it about two thirds of the way, with Matt in pain, and reacting poorly to his pain meds, when I decided I was just downright tired of driving and wanted to go home. We grabbed smoothies and banana bread, turned tail and headed back to Kaanapali, stopping to pick up two Loco Mocos for dinner.

Day 3 - My Best Friend's Wedding


This was the big deal - the whole reason we were in Maui, to marry off Allie & Paul. They chose Lanai, a beautiful, remote little island you can only reach by ferry from Maui.

Original Plan: Get up early, pack up our stuff, head out to Lanai, wedding, dinner, sleep, leave for airport directly in the morning.

Revised Plan: It would have been ridiculous to drag Matt, in bandages and crutches, onto the ferry - particularly with the amount of walking we'd do for the wedding anyway. It was a tough decision, but we opted for him to stay at the condo while I went out to Lanai for the wedding. Heartbreaking.

And so I did. I packed up, set out food and water for him, like I was leaving my cat for the weekend, and hopped the ferry. I was instantly in love with Lanai. There are two resorts on the island, both Four Seasons, and I'm not used to living quite so elegantly (though, let me tell you, I'd be happy to adjust).

The resort was incredible, as was the customer service (gets me every time), and "Auntie Irene", who sits in the lobby, making leis and floral pieces, came to the rescue to make me a new lei for the ceremony, when I left my specially ordered one at the condo.

The ceremony took place on the beach, amongst the lava rocks, with minimal planning, and I wasn't a bit nervous. We were all so comfortable and relaxed, both families are loving and gracious, and I just couldn't be any happier for the couple.

They had no preferences for the ceremony, so I planned a special element - a handfasting using a Maile ("my-lee") lei, as a nod to the heritage of this beautiful spot that is their favorite place in the world. The Meile plant represents love, peace, joy, respect and commitment, all of the virtues I hope for their marriage.

After the ceremony, we had a beautiful dinner at the restaurant at the resort. Their staff (and Allie's new in-laws) went out of their way to make our dinner special - a beautiful table setting, pink roses, a surprise wedding cake, and even a special message to the couple on the menu.

It was a beautiful evening, such a special day, and I couldn't be happier for them both!

April in Review

• It took like 2 weeks to recover from our amazing vacation in Mexico. So the first part of April is a bit fuzzy!
• My major project this month was preparing for our annual Kids Ministry team dinner, which included, this year, making a video to introduce our new team t-shirts.
• I had a great "fun night" with our Kids Ministry Executive Team - so thankful for this team of leaders that helps lead our ministry forward.
• Aunt JoDee & I did some condo shopping, as she'll be buying another property for us to manage while she's away.
• We made plans at Creekside to launch a Preschool this fall. So excited! I've dreamt of having a preschool at Creekside!
• It's finally gardening season, and I'm so thrilled. Last fall, we sectioned off an area for an addition to our vegetable garden and I've been anxious to make it look less redneck and get it finished. We laid down landscaping fabric and put up a border for it.
• Boy & I started working on his "lifebook", a sort of scrapbook DSHS encourages foster parents to create to help kids connect their past and their future. We're really enjoying this project!

No pictures this month! Oh well!

March in Review

• Said goodbye to Matt's mentor, Rick, who went home to be with Jesus. He made a big impression on our marriage and will be missed.
• Conference with Boy's teachers indicated that he's doing VERY well at school - making great progress, and making us proud.
• Went back to contact lenses after 9 years of glasses.
• Vacationed in Mexico with family.
• Celebrated Easter with Boy.

On to April!

Mexico, Day 7

Our last day! We were mostly packed by the time we went to bed last night, so we slept in, enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with the family, and then hit the pool. I must've felt overconfident in my base tan, because I seem to have added a layer of sunburn on top of yesterday's pink. It was lovely spending the last few hours lounging in the sun and in the water. We roughhoused in the water, tossing each other off rafts, and I hesitated about going back to real life.

But the time came to say goodbye, so we cleaned up and threw our soaked suits into our luggage, and headed off to the airport. I teared up a bit, but I know I was ready to go home too.

Mexico, Day 6

Our last full day in Mexico, and I was itching for some kind, any kind, of adventure. We had breakfast with the family, then Matt and I made up our minds to visit Isla Cuale, a little tiny island just south of Malecon, the boardwalk, in Old Vallarta, which was rumored to have a park, shopping and over 100 feral cats.

The rumors proved true and we found a few more items on which to lighten our pocketbooks including a talavera casserole dish, some jewelry and a stylin' hat for Matt. We found our way to the south end of the boardwalk and walked the length back, enjoying the street artists that posed as sand-creations playing chess, or pulling Excalibur from a rock.

By the time we were back to the resort, it seemed lunchtime, so we caught up with Katey and the kids for a bite. The afternoon was spent in the pool while the others golfed, and we soaked up the last of the Puerto Vallartan sun we'd enjoy.

Dinner tonight was our "fancy" event - we all dressed up and went out to the Italian restaurant, a delicious way to spend our last evening. Matt and I decided to pack tonight so we can enjoy our last hours in the pool tomorrow, then stayed up late talking on our balcony, enjoying the view.

Mexico, Day 5

Today was Matt's big fishing day, an adventure he'd been planning since we first talked of Mexico. He, Bob, Kayden and RT were on the beach at 8am to meet a little boat they'd chartered for 4 hours. I was prepared for a whole lot of downtime while he was gone, so I took my time getting ready and met Katey and the kids just as they were finishing breakfast.

We were walking through the lobby, at Kole's insistence, when my ipad started making noise. At first I thought it was somebody else, but the sound was louder when I leaned toward my bag. An alarm was going off - it said "Go to spa for surprise".

I wasn't going to ask questions.

All of the pieces from the day before came back to me - how he convinced me to wait until Thursday and he'd get a manicure with me, how he disappeared just before dinner to do some fishing research. I later found that he'd really thought through everything and even my family knew that I needed to be at the spa by a certain time.

So I arrived there to find that he had arranged for me to enjoy a hydrotherapy circuit (seriously relaxing, had never done that before), an after-sun body wrap (that was new too), and a mani/pedi. I enjoyed nearly 3 hours of relaxing pampering. Loved it!

I was feeling hunger pangs (an unusual occurrence at an all-inclusive resort) and missing people so I found the rest of the girls when I was done. We hung out in the sun until the boys returned, and then Matt and I were ready for some quality time.

The boys hadn't caught anything worth keeping on their trip, which was quite disappointing for Matt. We spent our afternoon in the pool, then dressed up for our own date night dinner at the French restaurant. I didn't have high expectations but I was pleased! The food was elegant and tasty. By the time our leisurely dinner was finished, I was ready for bed!

Mexico, Day 4

Today was THE BEST, and for one reason only... But let me start by saying I woke up feeling like I'd done something strenuous yesterday, and at the end of the day, as I write this, nothing has improved.

Except that today was THE BEST!

But let me tell the events of the day in order. I was up like clockwork at 7am, so I read and drank my coffee until it was breakfast time. We ate with the rest of the family, then packed up our things and called a cab, which drove us 45min to Zoologica de Puerto Vallarta - the zoo!

This is not like an American zoo. Part of your admission fee is a little lunch sack full of animal snacks - carrots, bread, dried corn, peanuts and pellets. And if you're a sucker like me (and those with me), you'll pay a pretty substantial additional fee just so you can... Oh wait. That's later.

So our plan was just to see a few of the animals and then do our main attraction, but we were so drawn in by the up-close exhibits, and the hand-feeding. Flamingos ate pellets out of my hand; I gave carrots to greedy antelopes; I shared a carrot with a giraffe (who slobbered on me) and an emu. A tiger and a few other wild cats in heat paced in front of their cages, just inches away (and so irritable!)

The feeding was so much fun, we bought another bag of snacks halfway through. But THE BEST part was that I GOT TO PLAY WITH A TIGER CUB.

This has been on my "list" since I was 18. I made a list of 100 things I wanted to do before I die, and "pet a non-domesticated cat" was one of them. So when I heard that the PV zoo allowed you to interact with the animals, I was all over it.

Our advanced admission fee allowed us to interact with 3 baby monkeys (who were completely crazy), a lion cub and two tiger cubs. I was so stunned by their cuteness, I forgot to ask their names,

Mom & I went in first, so Matt & JoDee could take pictures, then we swapped. The monkeys were mischievous - one stole a barrette from mom's hair, then tried to remove my hair elastic, then jumped back and forth between our heads until his handler put him away. The cats were probably just a bit too old for this exhibit, or they hadn't had a break in awhile, because they were spirited and looking for a challenge. The lion cub was more interested in my shoelaces than me, and the tigers were less interested in the cuddling I wanted to do and more ready to gnaw, bat and wrestle. I had the distinct feeling they thought they thought they were playing with their food?

They were JUST THE BEST!!

But then reality called and it was time to taxi back to the resort. The rest of the day was enjoyable too - sandcastles on the beach, more eating tasty food, a little resting too. But it pales in comparison to the fact that I GOT TO PET TIGER AND LION CUBS!!